So begins a new season of American Idol. Some have looked forward to this moment with anticipation. Others, like me, tend to dread the new season. Don't get me wrong, I do love American Idol. I do wish we could skip the audition phase of the competition though. As usual we have the good, the bad, and the really weird.
The first audition of the 2006 season begins in Chicago. The windy city may have been cold and rainy, but that didn't stop over 10,000 people from showing what they've got to the judges.
The Good:
Honestly, they didn't show much that was good this episode. In two hours worth of auditions we have precious little hope to cling to. The first decent performers were twins, Terrell and Derrell Brittenum. One sang My Girl, the other sang Ain't Too Proud to Beg. Simon Cowell actually smiled! That's either a good sign or a really bad sign. Paula Abdul tells the twins they make the other twins who have been on the series pale in comparison. Randy Jackson says yes to both, and so does Paula. The twins are off to Hollywood.
Also good, in a funky butt-kissing way was Gina Glockson. She apparently has a thing for my favorite judge - Simon. She's in a band called Catfight, but then turns around and nails Celine Dion's "Power of Love." Simon tells Gina he thought her change of lyrics (from "You are my man" to "Simon's my man") was beautiful. Paula said the butt-kissing was amazing.
Mandisa Hundley brought out the evil in Simon, once again. After hearing her rendition of "Falling" by Alicia Keys, she got a unanimous yes. But because she's not a petite little thing, Simon did get one shot in about her weight, asking if they had a bigger stage this year.
Leah and Brooke Barrettsmith made the most of their sister connection. They may not be twins, but I think Brooke definitely has Leah to thank for getting her to Hollywood. Leah was the stronger singer and Randy gave her a yes. Simon says no to both of them, leaving the decision to Paula. He also decides that Randy's yes is to both. Paula decided yes.
Zachary Smits impressed Paula by singing "I'm in the Mood for Love" to her. Simon thought he was charming but was on the fence vocally. Randy was also on the fence, but decided why not. I'm grateful 'cause I think that little 17 year old is just the cutest thing. He's got potential that one.
David Radford made it through on Day 2 in Chicago. He's a crooner and if you recall from past years that tends to not impress me too much. Randy said no, Simon said yes then talked Randy into saying yes too. Talk about a change of roles!
Rounding out the good are Joshua and Jarrett Simmons, once again a pair of twins. Randy and Paula liked them. Simon wondered what would have happened if they had wandered in together, without the twin gimmick. In the end, it didn't matter, as they made it through.
The bad:
Honestly there were just too many bad auditions to name all of them. We'll just go over some highlights.
Derek Dupree had a lot of confidence and passion, but very little talent. He claimed he could sing in three pitches. When he sang, he sounded like a record going faster and slower. Simon said that everything about the audition was horrible. Derek managed to talk them into letting him come back in one hour. An hour later, he still belonged in "the bad" category.
Katrina Yaukey started to sing The Humpty Dance, then couldn't think of anything else to sing when asked. Justin Stitch thought he was all that, but went down in flames as well, being stopped almost before starting by Simon. Gina Noriega couldn't even get the words to "Blue Moon" properly. Kevin Brenneman tried to sing "The Wait" but didn't impress anyone. Simon thought he looked like a wasp.
Charles Berry brought out the evil Simon with his original piece. Simon told him to shave his facial hair and become a female impersonator. Amanda Rabideau sang "Something to talk about" but was told by Simon that it was awful. Deputy Sheriff Brandon Groves sang "I Shot the Sheriff" and must have thought that he could sneak by with the gimmick. He couldn't think of any words other than "I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy." He just kept singing it over and over again. I didn't think the torture would ever end.
Jessica Nelson sang very badly and did not take it very well when Simon said it was a mess. She left cursing and having a fit.
The empty-headed barbie doll wannnabe Crystal Parizanski came in talking in one of those cutesy little girl voices that makes us normal folk want to hurl. She definitely thought she was all that, with her lovely tan and cute little figure. Simon however was not impressed. He went on and on about her tan. He stopped long enough to listen to her sing, then wanted to meet Crystal's mom. Mom looks remarkably like Crystal and there is Simon's answer to where Crystal got her looks. Simon says no. Randy agreed that she's not ready. Now that Crystal isn't trying to impress the judges, her voice returns to a normal pitch.
The just plain weird:
Christine Davis came in wearing her prom dress. That failed to impress Simon who went on about weird Americans. Paula came up with the best line of the night, telling Simon "telling a 17 year-old girl you're bland, boring, and I hate your dress, that's friendly."
Erik Lawhon, who brought his mother and grandmother, talked in a girly voice and sings in a girly voice. He tried to sing "If I'm not made for you" which is a very difficult song to sing. Simon thought he sounded like an "aunty." Erik's grandmother had threatened to hurt Simon if he said no, and there was a confrontation between grandma and Simon. Grandma wanted to know why Simon is so rude. Simon was rather polite. In the end, Grandma says that Simon is shorter than she thought.
Stuart Benyamin sang a song in a language that wasn't English while wearing some weird outfit. Simon thought it was catchy, but still a unanimous no from the judges.
Yuliya Matus from the Ukraine came hoping to get a performance visa to extend her stay in the US. She sang "Bohemian Rhapsody." Just a note to all the fans of Suzie McNeill of Rockstar: INXS - now I know what a truly horrendous version of BR sounds like, I apologize to you all for my comments about Suzie's version. Suzie was wonderful by comparison.
Last up was Dave Hoover, who says animals talk to him (in english with a cartoon voice). He doesn't wear shoes and has loads of excess energy which he tries to burn up by constantly moving. He sang an original song. Perhaps because Randy and Paula were stoned or just bored out of their minds, they said yes. Simon asked them if they were completely insane. Personally I'd go with yes.
All in all, 34 people from Chicago made it through to the Hollywood round. Let's hope they kept the best off screen.
Just a note to all the fans of Suzie McNeill of Rockstar: INXS - now I know what a truly horrendous version of BR sounds like, I apologize to you all for my comments about Suzie's version. Suzie was wonderful by comparison.
ROFLMAOPIMP! Oh man how I missed these words! Welcome back! :D
But please don’t keep Rock Star as a measure; no way in heck can American Idol win! However, I do know Will’s head is exploding somewhere as he just had a mental orgasm knowing you finally gave Suzie the props!
Fantastic recap as usual, now I know what to expect in 7 hours! Would add my two-bits after seeing Idol!
The Core Of Man's Spirit Comes From New Experiences!
Very funny article! Great commentary. I did not watch the show, but after reading this I feel like I'm completely abreast of all the happenings from the first episode. Really funny stuff. Great writing!
ROFLMAOPIMP! Oh man how I missed these words! Welcome back! :D
But please don�t keep Rock Star as a measure; no way in heck can American Idol win! However, I do know Will�s head is exploding somewhere as he just had a mental orgasm knowing you finally gave Suzie the props!
Fantastic recap as usual, now I know what to expect in 7 hours! Would add my two-bits after seeing Idol!
Oh, Sprout, you know ole "gator boy" too well!!
I miss your wit!
The re-cap by Curlio was spot on, as the Brits say! And, I actually think they showed some very promising singers, it all depends on their nerve and adaptability!
I am eager to see more and get " the party started" to quote the poetess Pink!
Well here we are again with another season of American Idol! I've been looking forward to this for a couple weeks now.
Usually the audition phase doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather get to the meat of the competition. Last night was like any other season of American Idol as Curlio pointed out. With that said, I did have a good time watching last night's episode. It got me in the mood for AI, and excited for whatever may come this season.
This season should hopefully be a good one. From what I've read in various articles we should be seeing some more behind the scenes action this year. We usually don't get to see the arguments and drama that goes on backstage. So for the drama loose women who are brought to orgasm by it through the other reality TV shows, they'll be gettin' their fix with AI. It probably won't be large amounts of it, but enough to keep things interesting.
It's still way too early for me to even start thinking about which contestants I like. Especially since we hardly even saw any of the ones they chose for Hollywood. We also have some more auditions to see.
This season I'm hoping to hear some different songs (I forget which song(s) it was last year that I heard over a dozen times, last year and in previous seasons, that made me want to hurl everytime) I'm also hoping for some outstanding contestants. I think we did great last year with having a nice variety.
I almost forgot. Did anybody else think that Crystal Parizanski looked like the love child of Ashlee Simpson and Christina Aguilera (Dirrty Days) I about peed myself when I saw her Mom! It didn't even click at first that she was her mother! I heard Ryan say she arrived with her Mom, but I was just all confused.
edit: Jeremy - 2006-01-18 12:44:10 GMT - Added something
Football season immediately followed by American Idol!! Ain't this country grand?????
Great recap of last night 's show Curlio!! The really bad contestants at this stage just make me look forward to the semi-finals with more anticipation.
Looking forward to the lively discussions over the next four months.
The Memphis twins may not make it very far in the idol competition. There are reports in the news that they are both in trouble with the law. The show's producers may not want deal with them.
I am listed above in the bad collumn. I agree. I did badly. I can do better. I never sang in front of Simon though. Those comments were either not made about me, and edited in or they watch a video while someone films their reactions. I cussed out the cameras because it got me on t.v. Now my name is out there. Any publicity is good publicity. Thanks for mentioning me!
IT's all a lie! A huge lie. Katrina Yaukey...HUMPTY DANCE actually sang the song, then another immediately and then another....go to RECORD HERALD of WAYNESBORO, PA :, article entitled REALITY CHECK ...an article under local news for the REAL,HONEST, TRUE STORY!
She can sang amazingly...this was merely an editing gimmick, many little moments put together in the MANY minutes she was with S,P,R...check it out.
Read the story, amusing and amazing.
Hey I am hard of hearing (deaf) don't you dare talk manure about my sister crystal she's a great singer you just don't know that. she sings better in real life in person and on the news the american idol is fake they told her to put on more make ups that's she looked sun tan she don't go tanning at all, and she isn't stupid they add thoes things to make her look bad and they changed the vite, sounds, when simon said that was the worst we have had in chicago it isn't true they didn't really say that and they weren't even there at that time its so fake, also no way never in the world my sister isn't gonna be no porn star she isn't a porn star she's a virgin and gonna wait until married first just like me, she isn't stupid at all like all thoes girls who have sex young r stupid. And she is gonna be a singer somedays so am I no matter what ur all so wrong about her u dk her at all she's a great sweet girl with a good heart, is a very god singer, dancer. People who talk manure about others and spray rumors and glossip that aren't true and pick on others r people that don't fel good about them self. How rude of all of u to make fun of her u havw got no right and ur just jealous. I am honestly telling the truth I don't lie, american idol lies and fake everything so don't be stupid...
What if the same happened to all of u and the american idol workers changes it into all fake how would u feel, how would u feel if everyone was making fun of u sad, upset, scared, worried u dk what its like cause ur all stupid think its cool to pick on others and to make fun of em no it isn't cool get real grow up. If I hear one more manure about her from all of u devils,jerks, bitchies ur gonna be sue. And god is really angry at u I just know it u know nothing. I was in , out of hospital for my whole life and she was left out, my house burned down, grandpa died, I loss my hearing at 5 and had 36 surgerys and in 17 machines. U don't understand how sad it is for her having to be the youngest, to have people to feel sorry for me it makes me cry everyday. So please stop if u believe in ur self and work harder everyday ur dream will come true and don't listen to the rumores or what people think or say ur all so special inside ur own heart...
So please understand thank u very much and have a nice weekend god bless america mwauh....
The winner of American Idol 2006 will be (sorry i don't know her name) the african american girl who came in with her grandmother. Randy talked to her grandmother before the audition and said that she was a famous singer. She is the winner - although I cannot remember her name and that seems bad I know. Anyways the girl has short hair and sang like no one I have ever heard. Good luck to all the contestants but she is the next American Idol.
So begins a new season of American Idol. Some have looked forward to this moment with anticipation. Others, like me, tend to dread the new season. Don't get me wrong, I do love American Idol. I do wish we could skip the audition phase of the competition though. As usual we have the good, the bad, and the really weird.
Honestly, they didn't show much that was good this episode. In two hours worth of auditions we have precious little hope to cling to. The first decent performers were twins, Terrell and Derrell Brittenum. One sang My Girl, the other sang Ain't Too Proud to Beg. Simon Cowell actually smiled! That's either a good sign or a really bad sign. Paula Abdul tells the twins they make the other twins who have been on the series pale in comparison. Randy Jackson says yes to both, and so does Paula. The twins are off to Hollywood.
Derek Dupree had a lot of confidence and passion, but very little talent. He claimed he could sing in three pitches. When he sang, he sounded like a record going faster and slower. Simon said that everything about the audition was horrible. Derek managed to talk them into letting him come back in one hour. An hour later, he still belonged in "the bad" category.
He just kept singing it over and over again. I didn't think the torture would ever end.
The empty-headed barbie doll wannnabe Crystal Parizanski came in talking in one of those cutesy little girl voices that makes us normal folk want to hurl. She definitely thought she was all that, with her lovely tan and cute little figure. Simon however was not impressed. He went on and on about her tan. He stopped long enough to listen to her sing, then wanted to meet Crystal's mom. Mom looks remarkably like Crystal and there is Simon's answer to where Crystal got her looks. Simon says no. Randy agreed that she's not ready. Now that Crystal isn't trying to impress the judges, her voice returns to a normal pitch.
Erik Lawhon, who brought his mother and grandmother, talked in a girly voice and sings in a girly voice. He tried to sing "If I'm not made for you" which is a very difficult song to sing. Simon thought he sounded like an "aunty." Erik's grandmother had threatened to hurt Simon if he said no, and there was a confrontation between grandma and Simon. Grandma wanted to know why Simon is so rude. Simon was rather polite. In the end, Grandma says that Simon is shorter than she thought.
Yuliya Matus from the Ukraine came hoping to get a performance visa to extend her stay in the US. She sang "Bohemian Rhapsody." Just a note to all the fans of Suzie McNeill of Rockstar: INXS - now I know what a truly horrendous version of BR sounds like, I apologize to you all for my comments about Suzie's version. Suzie was wonderful by comparison.
Last up was Dave Hoover, who says animals talk to him (in english with a cartoon voice). He doesn't wear shoes and has loads of excess energy which he tries to burn up by constantly moving. He sang an original song. Perhaps because Randy and Paula were stoned or just bored out of their minds, they said yes. Simon asked them if they were completely insane. Personally I'd go with yes.
