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Flavor of Love 2, Ep. 10: The Dramatical Conclusion

Nicole

2006-10-16 15:13:38

It is the final episode of Flavor of Love 2, and New York and Delishus are the only two women* left standing.

*Despite all the tranny rumors about both, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say both are women.

After Krazy’s elimination, Flav announces that he will be taking the two finalists to Belize and both girls are ready to celebrate their trip. However . . . Ms. Michelle (New York’s Mom) has decided that she’s not ready to give up just yet. She comes storming back into the house and marches up to Flav’s room where she pounds on the door until Flav comes out in his PJ’s. She tells Flav that she’s taking New York home tonight and Flav says that if she can get New York to leave, he won’t stop her. Mama New York storms off to find topless New York in the bathroom. They scream for a while “No I won’t!” “Yes you will!” “No I won’t” “Yes you will!” until Mama New York finally gives up and leaves. Looks like New York is in it until the end.

The next morning the girls leave with Flav for Belize and are greeted at the airport by an adoring crowd who is excited to see not only Flav, but New York too. Delishus comments on how New York and Flav’s connection must be real since it’s acknowledged by the public. The three get on a smaller plane and end up at a beautiful resort in Palencia, Belize. Flav is presented with a giant, hand-carved cane by the resort staff and tells the girls that he’ll see Delishus tonight and New York tomorrow.

In the girls’ room, New York is freaking out because Delishus has a date with Flav. Apparently, even after two seasons, she does not understand how the show works and believes that all dates should be with her. She tries to mess with Delishus’ mind as she’s preparing, but Delishus is having none of that. She happily skips off for her date with Flav. New York chain smokes and spies on them to make herself feel better. She confides to us that she’s feeling a lot of emotions (well, duh, I say. You are the dramatical queen).

On Delishus’ date, Flav takes her for a walk on the beach leading to a little tent (BTW, this is the second ‘tent’ date D has gotten. Remember the camels?). They fall down together under the bed in a heap of sloppy grinding. When the masseuses show up to give them massages, they are so swept away by their passion that they don’t even notice. And the masseuses are so grossed out that they have to run into the ocean to vomit. Eventually, Delishus crawls off of Flav and they get their massages. Then they meet up later for dinner. Delishus asks Flav if HIS emotions are being faked for TV and this seems to upset Flav, since everybody should know that a fifty year old man in a rented house wearing an oversized clock around his neck is only interested in being real, not making TV. Otherwise, they have a perfectly lovely date and Flav compliments Delishus profusely. He invites her up to his room, she accepts, and there’s a marginally funny incident where Flav has to cut her out of her dress because the zipper is stuck. They spend the night together and Delishus walks back to her room in the morning.

New York is very excited for her date, but more excited to try and mess with Delishus. She tries first to kill her with kindness, but eventually reverts back to attacking her with bitchiness. Delishus, the epitome of cool and classy, simply walks away. New York takes it in stride and gets ready for her date with Flav.

Because Flav is a sadist, he has chosen to take New York on a boating trip. New York does not like water, but she puts on a happy face for Flav. They make out a little on the front of the boat and then New York crawls around to the back. She is so excited to finally be having her date, that she starts to lose her mind. She starts grilling Flav about whether or not he spent the night with Delishus. She tells Flav that she’s been busy planning their entire lives together. She tells Flav that she gives the orders. This causes Flav to jump off the boat in disgust. When he has cooled down, he returns and tells her that she’s acting like her mother. New York quickly back-pedals and says that she was wrong. But Flav won’t be happy until she says that he gives the commands because he is a man. Soooo…… just in case Flav wasn’t attractive enough to you to begin with, now you can add ‘being a chauvinist’ to his list of attributes.

Later, they have dinner and Flav talks about how New York can be too dramatical, but that they have a special bond. New York stops repeating “I love you, Flav” long enough to tell him that she’s scared of being sent home again. She starts to cry and for a second I almost believe she’s capable of real emotion. Almost. Flav invites her to his room after dinner and she accepts. However, while New York is waiting in the room for Flav to take quite possibly the longest pee ever recorded on television, she starts to have flashbacks to last years final two and how she enthusiastically gave it up for Flav. She decides to NOT spend the night with Flav and tells us that she doesn’t want Flav to only think of her sexually. Flav actually looks a little relieved, like he’s thinking he might get a decent night’s sleep now. New York goes back to her room where her decision to not pork Flav is tearing her up. Finally, she can’t stand the attention she might be missing, so she packs a bag and heads back over there. Flav lets her in and they spend the night together.

The next morning, Flav has a scene on the dock where he is trying to make his decision. He almost has a thought, but then quickly jumps into the water yelling “FLAVA FLAV!” to scare it away.

The next night is elimination night in Belize. The winner will stay on with Flav for a vacation and the loser will be sent back to the US. Flav has sent over dresses for each girl that he picked out and after each girl is ready, they meet out on the dock for the elimination. A thunderstorm is rolling in and New York’s hair seems to go from curled and sculpted to flat and stringy in a matter of minutes. Flav comes out and inspects the girls. He tells Delishus that if she thinks he’s faking, then she might be faking too. She says “No, I disagree.” He tells New York that he loves her and she really has a good heart. Delishus tells us in a confessional that she thought she lost when she heard Flav say he loved New York. But, alas, it’s all a psych out because Flav tells New York her time is up. Delishus is the winner.

And now comes the five or so minutes that made watching this whole season worth it. New York loses her mind! She rushes at Flav with * this and mother* that . . . the censors finger on the bleep button is getting a callous. Flav tries to hug her and talk to her but she tells him to get his hands off her and that he’ll never touch her again. She storms off, cussing and flipping her hair, and finally ends up a tearful mess in the limo. She vows to find someone who will love her and respect her and make all of her dreams come true . . . I smell a spin-off!

Back on the dock, Flav gives Delishus her set of gold grills and they embrace. Flav says he’s excited to see if this will work without all the cameras around. Delishus looks genuinely happy but tells us that part of the reason she’s so happy is that New York lost. They walk off into the Belizean thunderstorm together.

Next time . . . Reunion Special! All the crazies from this season get together and chase each other around the set. Good times!

PS: As a public service announcement, I feel it is my duty to inform the Flavor of Love watching general public that DRAMATICAL is NOT a word. Don’t use it, you sound stupid. Here are the proper forms of all the words related to drama.

Drama (noun). Example: I cannot take all the DRAMA New York brings.

Dramatic (adjective). Example: New York is a very dramatic transvestite.

Dramatically (adverb). Example: New York acted so dramatically this episode that I think she is gunning for her own show.

Dramatize (verb). Example: New York has tried ever trick in the book to dramatize the affection she feels for Flav.

Learn these words. Embrace them. Use them. Sound smart. Be better than Flav, Delishus or New York.

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GUEST ( Guest )

2006-10-19 15:39:50


	flav i dont know why u brang back that h oe new york back! you should have brang back pumpkin! now what u did not see was that new york is a trazvestiteing h oe! all she good at is laying on back flat! wit her crack headed azz! now hope u do my folks delishious right! new york uz a h oe and yo moma too!!!!!! love ya flav P.s new york u is not Mrs. flavor flav!!!!!